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Monday, June 2, 2008

The Pinkie Chronicles: Recent Sightings

The photo above was forwarded to me by former Cast Member Sundore Laplant. As far as I know the man in the photo is NOT Pinkie, but since significant portions of Pinkie's time occasionally go inexplicably missing, one never knows. The dimensions are more or less correct..

Although The Casual Reporter does not condone excessive alcohol consumption, public intoxication, or any other nasty or tragic effects of alcohol abuse, alcohol-saturated stories are a natural feature of chronicling Pinkie and are a hit with many of my readers. So I will continue to include them. I also note a practical purpose: to let Pinkie know what he did "last night".

Recently Pinkie took a month off with his cousin/buddy and returned to his homeland where he performed his trick-roping routine in a number of shows. Jessie, Pinkie's next door neighbor and fellow Wild West Show Cowboy, was momentarily surprised Pinkie came back from a very sunny and hot part of the world with no sign of a tan but then calculated that Pinkie probably slept most of the day and "socialized" at night so sun exposure didn't naturally factor into Pinkie's activities.

Upon returning to France, Pinkie hurried to his favorite social establishments, mostly on Disney property, to return as much money as possible to Disney through the purchase of alcoholic beverages. In this regard, so I'm made to understand, Pinkie sometimes goes the extra mile. Not only does he sacrifice his own pay; he returns a fair amount of others' pay as well. Pinkie is such entertaining company that few seem to mind the inconvenience of loaning him beer money.

On this night, another ingredient was added: Tequila. The good stuff. Straight from the homeland. After several hours in the bars, Pinkie and cousin returned to the safety of their home and started on the Tequila. What follows is a brief outline of Pinkie sightings that subsequently resulted:

- Jessie heard the sound of someone being slapped repeatedly in the kitchen. Concerned someone was being mistreated, he went to investigate and discovered Pinkie leaning in close to his cousin, whose was being supported by the refrigerator. Pinkie was mumbling mostly unintelligibly and periodically slapping his cousin across the face. His cousin kept nodding, mumbling something in return, and accepting each slap. No apparent harm being done, Jessie returned to the living room.

- Later, Pinkie and cousin were discovered in a semi-conscious state in a different room, propping one another up back-to-back in the middle of the room, heads bobbing in semi-consciousness, in what was described as a human "tripod" with four wobbly legs.

- Later still, Pinkie was found standing at the kitchen counter, balancing his upper body on one extended arm, slightly swaying as he snored. His roommate checked there were no sharp objects or lit burners and left him alone. Nearly an hour later his roommate came back and found Pinkie in the same position, still snoring. The next day Pinkie asked, "Man, what did I do with my arm? It really hurts.."

- Pinkie's cousin was snoring sitting up in another room. The housekeeping situation at Pinkie's pad was described as "two-week old Mexican food scattered everywhere - tortillas, salsa, beer.. it looked like the remnants of a migratory path."

The following day I had the good fortune to meet up with Pinkie's cousin who was well-presented considering the stories I'd just heard of the night before. But something didn't seem quite right. He turned towards me with a big smile and subtle sway and extended his hand in greeting, looking straight at me but with his eyes focused about 2 feet behind mine. I said, "Hey, how's it going?" He said, "Not too much, man.. not too much.."
The Pinkie Chronicles are "Pinkie-Approved™".
The Casual Reporter
encourages responsible living. Please don't drink and drive.

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